Recently, during the summer term here at FIU, I have done a research paper titled Pursuit of Spaces. The intention of the ambiguous title was to capture a bigger range of readers. At first impression the title could be associated to a personal pursuit of space in the world, in someone’s life, in the market; but the real meaning of it is to expose the parking problem at FIU. The introduction of the essay let explicit the original idea of the title. The audience that I was expecting was mostly the students, specifically from the University Park campus, the faculty, staff, and the administration from FIU. Also, the story would be directed at anyone that is interested in the university matters. The initial interests that would lead my readers to keep reading my essay would be that if they own a car, probably they would be related to the topic, considering the long waiting time for a free parking spot that all of us are submitted to. Others may like the polemic subject. About attention-grabber, I think that I have it because I start the essay by exposing results of some interviews, letting clear that the essay is based on real facts and researches, not only in personal experiences. Towards the end of my introduction, I state my thesis, where I say that FIU should give more attention to parking in order to avoid current and future problems. Along the essay I explain these problems, expose some of own and other people’s experiences and give some ideas of solutions. The intention was not to write a boring story, but aware people about things happening outside the classroom.
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2 comments:
By using interview and other data, you were appealing to ethos, as you showed the audience that your information is credible and trustworthy. The title i think incorporated new ideas and because of the type of essay it did not necessarily need to incorporate the old as well. I thought that my introduction was also as informative as yours in explaining the subject matter. However what I would change about mine, was the title as it was just a mere 'euthanasia', incorporating nothing new or old. Therefore I would make that change to my paper, so that the title can grab the readers attention.
You did a good job by describing a situation that pertains to many people. The situation relates to your audience and your title captivates a large range of an audience. It is clever to pick a title that is so broad and can be misinterpreted. Your interviews show support for your thesis. It gives background to your paper. What i would change about my paper is give more examples and more detail in the whole body.The introduction paragraph in my essay had nothing to do with the rest of it. My next attempt will coincide with the rest of my paper. It is very hard to write so much about such a short subject. I dont really understand how to respond to a response. It is quite confusing.
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